NOW PLAYING: [UNSPECIFIED]
The website is currently underconstruction, including this page! Future changes are likely to be made so come back later to see those! :3🌠🌠🌠
basically the transition log is a log keeping track of my experienced changes on estrogen! I wanted to do this cus I want to document the developments specifically of an African transfem which I know would be incredibly difficult to find anything of relevance on the affects for such an individual. Like how your skin tone increases, which is smth I predicted just by looking at my family members but couldn't say for sure but I eventually found out that yeah that's smth that happens. It's little things like that, that I wanna document in one place for people like me tohave a better grasp of what chemical transition looks like for them. I'll be doing it daily for the first 2 weeks, then weekly over the next 2 years, and monthly after that. Unless I decide otherwise or smth... So jar! :3
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Definitely didn't forget chat... anyway nothing much happened in this time anyway lol
- Libido stabilized
- skin lightening still a little I think
- I CRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! (was only 2 drops tho ╯︿╰)
- easier time getting close to crying
- significant emotional and mental regression
- semen volume still dropping precipitously (I'M STILL NOT A GOONER I HAVE NO OTHER WAY TO CHECK MY T LEVELS!!!)
- BOOB BUDDING STARTED!!! (only really on my right nipple and only a little bit but both have more fat around them)
- restoration of suicidality and self harm ideation and other unpleasant mental tendency (this was bound to happen since my social aspect of my transition is not occuring whatsoever cus blah blah blah I talk abt it in the video)
- [video]
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Definitely didn't forget chat... anyway nothing much happened in this time anyway lol
- Libido cotinued to fall
- skin lightening maybe(I think it's actually happening)
- significant and noticable skin softening
- emotions stabilized signifcantly
- semen volume significantly dropped implying that monotherapy is working and my t levels are dropping (don't call me a gooner I have to check)
- randomly became "conscious" or self aware again on like day 6 like seeing the world in full color and context again. Was really weird
- experentially adapted to estrogen (so no more excessive sleepiness tho I am still relatively more inclined to sleep more, longer, and during the day, and I'm no longer excessively thirsty)
- certain pre-hrt behaviors have returned but that's mainly cus I still live in a trans hostile environment, tho I try to limit my interacctions with people, so *some* protective behaviors and preceptions have rebirthed themselves cus blah blah blah material conditions
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Finally updating on time award🥇
- Libido STILL gradually falling
- skin lightening maybe already possibly idk hard to tell
- verified skin softening
- still kinda emotional but its calmed down mostly
- a bit more impulsive (the very visible "hand of estrogen" rears it beautiful head!)
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Forgot to give yesterday's update award🥇 Cus that happened I'm combining the 2 days together
- dehydration
- mood swings continue
- LIBIDO FALLING(gradually)📉📉📉
- sleepiness increase (happened before but has reached a consistent state enough to be noted)
- increased sensitivity to sound
- fat in chest area (I'm probably just going insane it was probably there before)
- improved focusing ability (I can adequately engage with academic topics again)
- accusations of having teen girl mood swings
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I'm late to writing this by abt 13 hours but whatever. So basically at the time when I was supposed to write this I would've been abt 24 hours on e, and I had experienced a couple changes that I will list in a LIST this time which I will be doing going forward so jar :3
- mood swings
- increased emotional vibrancy (not too much tho)
- more difficult to reach climax while *gooning* (I JUST WANTED TO CHECK OK)
- my crushes are really pretty, as in they look more so than before (like waow seriously)
- minor skin softening not anything significant tho
- boosted confidence (which has the added affect of fucking up my voice when I talk only a little tho)
- overall still happier and more expressionate but I've calmed down quite a bit
- significantly improved mental fortitude
- "reactionary forces of the mind" have been either abolished or significantly weakened (basically my mind is finally calm)
- meowing
- *slightly* decreased libido (I ONLY KEEP CHECKING BECAUSE IT'S A MAJOR INDICATOR OK!!!!)
- ABOLITION OF UNPLEASANT BEHAVIOR, "MASCULINE MANNERISMS," AND SHAME WOOHOOOOO
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As of the time of writing I am currently about 3ish hours on estrogen and it is quite good albeit a very slow process. Generally feeling a progressive feeling of "awakening" despite being quite tired (I go to sleep early these days to get more homework done in the middle of the night). I feel a strong sense of being at ease. Idk if this has to do with the fact that I have just accomplished the most grand achievement in my entire life thus far or if its the estrogen but either way I think this is smth to note. Oh yeah and I can feel my "cognitive dysphoria" gradually disapating with time. At this point its really hard to tell what's a placebo and what's the estrogen but what it is I'll take it! Feeling a lot happier too... Hoping for more positive developments throuought the week!